


Tumblr Prompts

by Smuternatural



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Kissing, M/M, Sabriel - Freeform, Tumblr Prompt, probably some torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-01-29 14:10:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 17,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21411478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smuternatural/pseuds/Smuternatural
Summary: This is my collection of Tumblr prompts. It's hard to tag everything because there's a bunch. SO, be prepared for fluff/smut/angst/crack/whatever else.It's happy sad funny and frustrating!
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 19
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

“It’s time for me to move on.”

Castiel turned and walked down the steps into the other room, heading towards the bunkers exit.

“You’re serious,” Dean huffed, uncrossing his arms.

Castiel stopped, hesitating before turning around. “Yes, Dean, I am. I’m not needed here and you’ve made it abundantly clear that I am no longer welcome. I’m only adding to your pain.” He paused for a moment and smiled faintly. “Do you remember when I told you that I gave up everything for you? I haven’t stopped doing that, and this is the thanks I get. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for the Winchesters. For you. I’ve made mistakes, Dean. I’m not perfect. But you—I can’t do this,” he waved a hand between himself and Dean, “anymore.”

He turned away and began climbing the bunkers stairs.

Dean watched with wide eyes as Castiel ascended the steps. He pushed off the table and walked quickly to the end of the stairs.

“Don’t,” Dean whispered.

Castiel kept climbing.

“Cas, damn it, stop,” Dean barked.

The angel stopped mid step, his hand on the railing tightened. “Why?”

Dean balked and furrowed his brow.

“Give me one reason, Dean.”

Dean took one step up. “Because we need you, Cas.”

“No, you don’t.” Castiel took another step.

Deans heart pounded in his chest.

“Yes. We do.”

“Sam doesn’t need me. He’ll be fine. He has you.”

“Damn it, Cas, just stop!” Dean took two more steps. “I—I need you, ok? I’ve always fucking needed you.” He reached the step just below the one Castiel was on, reaching out his hand to grab the angels. He held it gently and rubbed circles with his thumb on the Castiels palm. “M’no good at this, but I can’t lose ya, Cas.”

Castiel turned around, pulling his hand away as he looked down on Dean with tears in his eyes. “You’re just scared, Dean. Scared to be without your healer.”

Dean winced at that. “That—that’s not all you are. You’re important. Please, Cas,” Dean closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. “Don’t say goodbye. Don’t let it end like this.”

Castiel stepped down so he was level with Dean. He looked straight into Deans eyes and frowned.

“I know you’re going through a hard time, but you can’t take it out on me. Besides your brother, I am the ONLY one here for you. I won’t be your punching bag any longer. If I stay, you need to talk to me. No more lies. No more grudges. No more blaming me. No more hiding. Do you understand, Dean?”

Tears fell from Deans eyes as he nodded.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Cas.” Dean gripped the angels trench coat and pulled him roughly into a hug.

Castiel held Dean while he cried, gently rubbing his back. “I know.”


	2. Chapter 2

It’s as cliche as it gets.

Dean Winchester, the biggest nerd Lawrence high school ever had, was forced to be roommates with a hot jock with a devil may care attitude.

College, in Dean’s mind, was a time to hunker down and get ready for the real world.

Cas was different. He liked staying out late, going to parties and coming back to the room wasted and laughing.

When Dean would ask him to be quiet, Cas would snort and turn his music up louder.

When Dean bought headphones to drown out the noise his roommate was constantly making, they suddenly disappeared.

When Dean finally had enough and decided to study in the library, Cas sauntered in and plopped down next to him with a huff.

“Why are you ALWAYS studying?”

Dean looked up over his black framed glasses and scowled.

“Some of us are actually trying to make it through college,” he whispered.

Cas blew a raspberry and grinned. “Yeah, ok.”

“Not all of us got a free ride because they’re good at sports. Some of us have to work for it. Which means,” he pointed a sharp finger at his textbook, “I have to study.”

Cas rolled his eyes and snatched the book away from Dean.

“Whadda we got here—oh. You’re going for—”

“American sign language. Yes,” Dean huffed.

“Why?” Cas sat back in his chair as he leafed through the book.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Dean squared his shoulders, “but my brother is deaf. The amount of help that’s out there for kids like him is minimal.”

Cas raised his eyebrows and slid the book back to Dean. “That’s—pretty awesome, Dean.”

“I know. Now, if you don’t mind, I came here to get some peace and quiet,” Dean hissed, pushing his glasses up his nose.

Cas raised his hands in defense and stood up. He stayed there for a moment before rapping his knuckles on the table gently. When Dean looked up, he watched as Cas signed “See you later, roomie” before walking towards the exit.

When Dean returned to his room that night, he was not expecting Cas to be sitting quietly at his laptop.

“It’s Friday night,” Dean said with a scowl.

“So it is.”

“Why are you here?” Dean sat down on his bed and stared at his roommate.

Cas looked around at his belongings in the room. “I—if I’m not wrong, I believe I live here.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. Aren’t you supposed to be out drinking and being obnoxiously loud?” He flopped back on his bed and closed his eyes.

“No plans tonight. I thought I could,” Cas cleared his throat and turned his chair towards Dean,” –I could help you study.”

Dean’s cracked an eye open. “Seriously?”

Cas signed a ‘yes’ which made Dean smile.

“How do you know sign language,” he asked, sitting up and scooting to the edge of his bed.

“My ex was deaf. We dated for two years before he moved away. I picked up alot along the way and bought a bunch of books,” he shrugged.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, if you want to, I wouldn’t say no. I’ve been having trouble with a few things lately and—” he pulled a thick book out of his bag and opened it, “can you quiz me?”

Cas pulled his chair in front of Dean and took the book. “Yeah, sure.” He smiled and cleared his throat. “Ok. Let’s start off with the sentence ‘What would you like for lunch?’.”

Dean signed it perfectly.

“Ok, little harder now. ‘We need to buy a vacuum cleaner,” he smiled.

“That’s not in the book,” Dean squinted as he adjusted his glasses.

“No, but it’s true. Look at this floor,” Cas gestured to the carpet.

Dean laughed as he signed the sentence.

“Nice,” Cas smiled widely. “You seem like you can sign pretty well. How ‘bout I sign to you, and you tell me what I said.”

“Yeah, ok. That sounds fun,” Dean smiled, leaning towards Cas.

Cas sat the book down and cracked his knuckles. “Now, it’s been a while. Might be kinda rusty. Ok, how about…”

After he was done signing Dean smiled.

“‘Where’s the bathroom?’“, Dean sighed. “That’s so first year. Try something harder.”

Cas scowled. “Alright, what about this.”

Dean’s cocked an eyebrow. “No, I’m not dating anyone, Cas.”

Cas signed again.

Dean’s cheeks flushed and he pushed his glasses up his nose.

“Well?” Cas reached up gently and ran the pad of his thumb over Dean’s cheek.

“You—you said you like my freckles,” Dean smiled.

“I do. Ok, last one.”

Cas signed and Dean bit his lip.

“Y–yeah. You can kiss m—”

Cas leaned in and pressed his lips to Deans gently.

They pulled apart smiling.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean whispered, “You can help me study any time you want.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Dean, please,” Castiel panted. “Kill me. Put me out of my misery.”

Dean rolled off the couch and onto the floor. He raised his hand and swatted in Cas’ general direction.

“I can’t,” he mumbled against the cool floorboards. “I’m too hot. And sweaty. And tired. And I’m pretty sure I’m gonna die first anyway. I swear I can feel my skin melting off.” He stood up lazily and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “When’s the super gettin’ back?”

Castiel grumbled and pointed at the flier hanging on the fridge.

Dean squinted his eyes. “Two weeks? Cas, we’re gonna die!”

Castiel sighed as he slumped in his chair. “My skin is sticking to _everything,” _he pouted.

“Well maybe if you didn’t walk around half naked—”

“IT’S HOT, DEAN! I can’t WEAR anything but my boxers without sweating through!” He threw his hands up in the air and let them fall with a slap on his thighs.

“Aww, is poor Cas cranky,” Dean asked sarcastically. He stuck his bottom lip out and walked over to his roommate. “Does someone need a hug?”

“Dean Winchester if you touch my I swear to—NO! Dean STOP! YOU’RE SO STICKY!”

Dean smothered Castiel in a bear hug, rubbing his head against his chest. “But you sound like you need cuddles,” Dean laughed against the other mans skin.

“Dean! Please! This is so much worse than dying!” Castiel gripped Dean’s arms and pushed him hard, sending him to the ground. He pounced on him, pinning his arms against the floor with his knees.

“You wanna play, Winchester? Ok, let’s play.”

Dean’s eyes went wide as his roommate held him still and slithered his mostly naked body against his own. Their sweat slicked chests rubbing together made goosebumps rise on Dean’s skin.

“Cas….Cas, fuck, PLEASE stop,” Dean shouted. This shouldn’t be turning him on. This shouldn’t be as hot as it is (no pun intended).

“Hey, you started it,” Cas chuckled, shaking his hair in Dean’s face. “You like that, huh? This _fun _for you?”

Dean gathered his strength and shoved Castiel off his shaking body.

“Jesus, Cas,” he panted while standing up.

“Aww, what’s the matter? You can dish it out but can’t take it?” He walked over to the sink and splashed water on his face. It trickled down his chin and onto his chest.

Dean’s eyes widened and there was little hiding the erection that was forming in his gym shorts. He turned around quickly and headed for his bedroom.

“Hey, what’s—”

“I’m fine,” Dean shouted before slamming his door.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next day when Dean finally emerged from his bedroom, Cas was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. He glanced up and nodded his head before returning his attention to his bowl.

“Hey,” Dean sighed, sitting down next to his roommate.

“Good morning, Dean.” 

“About yesterday,” he rubbed the back of his head nervously. “I uh, don’t know why I freaked out like that. M’sorry.”

Castiel smiled around his spoon. “S’ok,” he mumbled.

Dean visibly relaxed and smiled. He reached over and pulled Cas’ bowl in front of him and lifted it to his mouth, drinking all the milk in it.

“So, what’cha wanna do today,” he asked, watching Castiel scowl at him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was too hot in Dean’s room that night. He tossed and turned trying to get comfortable. His sheets were soaked and the fan in his window was only blowing in the hot air from outside.

He needed to cool down. He needed a drink. He just needed to get out of this sauna of a bedroom. He closed his eyes and blessed God above when he remembered that Cas had bought a six pack of his favorite beer earlier that day.

He hopped out of his bed and opened his door, heading for the kitchen. He was prepared to pop open a nice, cold beer. He was prepared for it to quench his thirst. Prepared for it to cool down his flushed skin.

What he absolutely was _NOT_ prepared for was the sight in front of him.

Casitel. Naked. Standing in front of the open fridge. There was a small towel around his waist but it left very little to the imagination. His eyes raked over his roommates body. His muscular back, down to his tight round ass. Not to mention his thighs and calves that were BEGGING to be wrapped around—

“Dean?”

Dean’s eyes snapped up as he regained focus.

“Sorry, it’s just so fucking hot in here,” Cas mumbled, tightening the towel around his front.

Dean took a step forward and made a mental note to NEVER forget this.

“Are you alright? Did you need something,” Castiel tilted his head and stared at his roommate.

“Yeah,” Dean breathed out, “I–I need,” he took another step forward, licking his lips.

Castiel turned to Dean, holding the towel against his groin. “What do you need, Dean,” he practically growled.

Dean’s body flushed at the sound. His feet carried him forward, directly into Cas’ space. His fingertips skimmed across the top of the towel, dipping one inside.

Castiel tensed and inhaled sharply at the touch.

“You,” Dean whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean sighed heavily behind the steering wheel of the Impala. He nervously wiped his palms on the top of his thighs as the pulsating neon lights of the bar—no, gay bar–danced across Baby’s hood.

“Dean?” 

Castiels voice jerked Dean back to reality. “Yeah?”

“Would you be more comfortable if Sam were here instead of me?” 

_Yes, _he thought to himself. Because an angel, his best friend, and the guy he’s been in love with for-fucking-ever was sitting next to him looking like pure sin.

Instead of his old trench coat, Cas was wearing dark blue jeans that hugged his body in ALL the right places and had borrowed one of Deans’ old Rolling Stones t-shirts. The black cotton barely contained the massive biceps Cas had been hiding God knows where. His hair was looked like he just rolled out of bed but somehow was still sexy as hell.

“Nah, man. I’m good. Just gotta—,” he looked Castiel up and down quickly, “think. Of a game plan. Gotta think of a game plan,” he trailed off, willing his eyes to peel themselves away from the angel next to him.

“Alright. We know for certain that the siren is here tonight. We blend in, find it, lure it outside and kill it. That—is that still the plan?”

“Yeah, Cas, that’s the damn plan,” Dean snipped. He shook his head and stared out the window. “Sorry, I just—there’s a lot on my mind lately.”

Castiel frowned and rested his hand on Dean’s leg. “You know you can talk to me about anything, Dean. Can I help?”

Dean froze, his eyes glued to the hand on his knee. Shoulder touches and back pats were nothing new. But _this_ was new.

_ Reading too much into it, man. It’s not like that. He doesn’t feel that way abou—_

_“_Dean?”

He snapped his head up, eyes focusing on the worried looking angel next to him.

“M’fine. Let’s get in, get the job done and get the fuck outta here.” He swung the door open and slammed it shut. Rounding the car, he opened the trunk and pulled out two bronze daggers. He handed one to Cas carefully. He’d justify it as being cautious not to cut the angel, but in reality he knew what happened when he felt Cas’ skin touch his own. He didn’t have time to unpack _that_ right now, so he ducked his head and headed towards the entrance.

“Uh, the siren,” Dean tried to hide the tremble in his voice, “they go after people who’re—like—they make them wanna kill someone they—fuck,” he shook his head, looking straight ahead.

“Dean, I understand how they work,” Castiel nodded. “I’ll watch over you. Just, maybe don’t kiss anyone while were here. That’s usually how they infect their prey.” The angel offered a small smile.

Dean pressed his lips together. “Won’t be a problem.”

Dean pushed the door open and was bombarded by thumping music and the smell of sweat and alcohol. There were people gathered on the dance floor, writhing to the beat enough to make Dean blush.

Castiel walked up to the bar and leaned his elbows on it, effectively making his ass stick out. The bartender’s eyes lit up as he sauntered over.

“What can I get for ya, angel?”

Dean smirked and suppressed a laugh.

“Vodka tonic and a whiskey with a beer back, please,” Castiel purred.

_Jesus fuck, kill me now, _Dean thought. Of course he’d know is drink order.

The bartender came back and handed them their drinks with a wink. “Have a great time tonight, fellas.”

“Oh, we will,” Castiel smiled and actually winked back at the guy.

Dean was in hell. Agonizing hell. Seeing Cas act human was not helping his situation. Choosing to ignore it, he turned and rested his back against the bar, surveilling the crowd. He felt something brush against his shoulder and turned his head.

Castiel was leaning in to say something directly into Dean’s ear but stopped. Their faces mere inches apart. Dean licked his lips, his eyes bouncing from the angels mouth to his eyes.

“I uh—so, what do we do now?” Castiel tilted his head, looking Dean in the eye.

“We—,” Deans heartbeat was rapidly increasing, “we do the job, Cas.” Dean took his shot of whiskey and slid it down on the bar, grabbed his beer and nodded for Castiel to follow him.

He walked out onto the dance floor and took a long drink of his beer before turning around.

It wasn’t fair. No one should look _this_ good.

Castiel set his drink down on the bar and raised an eyebrow at Dean. He pushed off the bar and slowly walked towards Dean, hips swaying a little more than they usually do. The lights danced across his face and lit up his eyes that were staring at the man in front of him. He raised his hand slightly, resting it against Dean’s hip and pulled him in close.

“Blend in,” is all he said before his other hand laid on the back of Dean’s neck, running his fingers through the short hair. His hips started slow, moving to the beat of the music.

Dean took the hint and wrapped his arm around the angel, pressing his groin against the other mans hips. He felt himself moving without thinking, letting Castiel take charge.

Feeling his friend grind against his thigh and grip the back of his neck was overwhelming. He felt himself slowly getting hard between them and prayed Cas didn’t notice.

“Dean,” Castiel breathed against the mans ear.

“Cas,” Dean all but moaned, tightening his grip on the angels shirt

“Dean, the siren, it’s watching us.”

Dean’s blood ran cold. He’d totally forgot they were on a hunt and not just getting dirty on the dance floor.

“Good, ok. Good,” Dean huffed. “Who uh, who’s it lookin’ at more, you ‘r me?”

Castiel turned his head, baring his neck to Dean who wanted nothing more than to lick a stripe up it.

“Me,” he confirmed.

“’Course he is,” Dean whispered. How could anyone NOT look at Castiel? “K, well, let’s lure it out.”

Reluctantly, Dean let go of the angel and reached out his hand for Cas. Once he interlocked their fingers, he led him off the dance floor and out the back exit.

Dean looked back and smiled at Cas, also noticing that the siren was following them.

He pushed the back door open and was relieved when the cool night air touched his skin. The back alley was dark and dripping wet, it stunk of vomit and an overflowing dumpster but Dean welcomed it. Anything to get his mind off what just happened.

“It should be here any moment,” Castiel whispered, reaching behind his back and gripping the blade.

“Wait,” Dean held his hand out to stop the angel. “Might scare it off if we ambush it right out the gate. We should—we have to distract it. Make it think it’s got a chance at infecting you.”

Castiel tilted his head. “How?”

The handle of the door slowly turned down, the door was about to open.

“Kiss me.”

Castiels eyes flew open. In an instant, Dean was being shoved against the wet brick wall. The angels body pressed tightly against the other mans, fisting the side of Deans shirt. Their lips collided in a rough kiss, all tongue and teeth.

“Well isn’t this a sight,” a voice called from behind them.

Castiel pulled away then, watching Deans chest rapidly rise and fall. He was panting himself, trying to regain his composure. Dean looked over the angels shoulder to see a short blonde man standing there with his arms crossed and smiling.

“You get your kicks outta watchin’ two guys make out, buddy?”

The man smiled brightly. “Maybe I do. Or maybe I want to join the party.”

_Don’t kiss anyone _Castiels voice rang through Dean’s head.

“Do you, now,” Castiel’s voice was deep and sultry. Dean didn’t want to know where he’d learned how to talk like that. He stepped up to the siren, tilting his head. “Sorry, but my boyfriend doesn’t share.”

In a swift movement, Castiel pulled the knife out from it’s hiding place and thrust it up in the sirens throat. It’s eyes widened as it tried to scream but failed. The blonde man shifted and turned into a grotesque, hairless monster before their eyes. Castiel pulled the knife out slowly, letting the body drop to the ground.

He turned to Dean who was still pressed against the wall.

“Dean, are you alright?”

Dean nodded, trying to control his emotions. “Cas, that was—that was awesome,” he smiled.

Castiel shrugged his shoulders as he stowed his blade.

Dean smiled and pushed off the wall. “Seriously, man. You can act. Dancing, flirting, the uh—the kissing. Didn’t know you had it in ya.”

Castiel walked up to Dean and braced one of his hands against the wall beside Deans head, crowding into his personal space.

“I’m full of surprises,” he whispered. He watched Dean lick his lips, feeling the mans breath on his face. He leaned in and captured Dean’s lips in a soft kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

“It’s not that easy, man. You don’t get it,” Dean grunted. He hacked his way through the bushes with his machete, ducking out of the way as a branch whipped over his head. “It’s complicated.”

“More complicated then gettin’ our asses handed to us every day ‘n night?” Benny reached up and snapped the branch off and tossed it to the side. “Come on cher, fess up. You got it bad for the angel.” He held his hand up in defense as Dean turned to glare at him. “It’s obvious, Dean. You ain’t exactly subtle. Goin’ ‘round here yellin’ at anyone who’ll listen ‘Where’s the angel?’ and choppin’ their heads off when you don’t get the answer ya want? Look, I get it. Killin’ is necessary down here but, buddy, you’re goin’ straight up feral lookin’ for the guy.”

Dean balked. Not even Sam was ever this blunt about whatever was going on between him and Cas. He shook his head and whipped his machete into the dirt next to his feet.

“You don’t get it, man. I owe Cas everything. He pulled me outta hell.”

“I get that brother. Been in a tough spot with a few good men before. I owed ‘em my life.”

“No, Benny. Literal hell.” Dean squatted down and balanced on the balls of his feet, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I was torturing souls when Cas came down into the pit and yanked my sorry ass out.” Dean closed his eyes and sighed.

“Well, shit, cher. I didn’t know nothin’ about that.” Benny sat up against a tree trunk next to Dean and let out a groan. “Hell,” he huffed. “Can’t even imagine what that was like.”

Dean sighed. “It was better than here. Didn’t know Cas back then so I didn’t have to worry about the asshole gettin’ hurt. But now, he’s out there somewhere and I can’t find him.” He ran his hand down his face and over his mouth, looking off into the woods. “If he’s hurt—”

“I’m sure he’s alright, Dean. Guy’s an angel after all. He knows how ta take care’a himself.” Benny patted his friend roughly on the shoulder. “Does he know?

“Know what?”

“That you’re in love with him,” Benny said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Dean huffed and shook his head. “Yeah,” he stood and rolled his shoulders, “pretty sure he does. Been goin’ at this for ten years.”

Benny’s eyes widened as he stood. “Ten fuckin’ years? The hell is wrong with—” Benny scoffed, “Shouldn’t you be with him by now?”

Dean nodded. “Probably. If I ever find him and get outta this place, I’m gonna tell him. No more hidin’.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~One Month Later~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Fuck,” the demon screamed, it’s voice echoing throughout the canyon. “I told you I don’t know! God, p-please!! Stop!”

Dean’s eyes were bloodshot and his face was spattered with blood. He pressed his knife harder against it’s throat. “Why the fuck don’t I believe you? Your pal over there,” he tilted his head to the other side of the river towards a demon Benny had just finished sucking it dry, “said you two were trackin’ him. Tell me where you saw him last an’ I’ll let you go, s’long as you don’t try anything stupid.” His eyes narrowed as he sliced the demon just enough to let a drop of blood trickle out.

The demon shook underneath him, searching Dean’s eyes for any sign of lying.

“Ok,” it breathed in relief, nodding it’s head. “We saw him up river just a few hours ago. We were headed that way when—,” it looked over to see Benny wiping his mouth, stalking towards them. “He can’t be far. He’s weak, he didn’t even care that we were following him. He looked like—like he wanted to get caugh—”

His last words were cut off by Dean plunging the knife into it’s throat. It gargled and spasmed until Dean felt it take it’s last breath.

He stood and wiped the blade clean on his pants, never taking his eyes off the demon.

Benny walked up behind Dean and looked over the mans shoulder. “Anything?”

“Yeah. He knew where Cas was. Up river a few hours. Let’s go.” Mechanically, Dean turned and headed north. Benny sighed and followed close behind.

They hacked and slaughtered their way through the woods until they came to a clearing. The water pooled into a small pond that was surrounded with brush and vines. The small makeshift beach was littered with body parts and used weapons, blood soaked into the dirt turning it an eerie shade of red. In the middle of the chaos stood Castiel, breathing hard and staring at the carnage around him.

Dean’s breath caught in his throat as he laid eyes on him for the first time in months. He dropped his weapon and started running towards the battered angel.

“Cas,” Dean called out, running as fast as his legs could carry him.

The angel raised his hand to his forehead, squinting to block out the sun.

“Dean?”

Dean slowed down a fraction before running into the angel, wrapping his arms around his solid frame.

“Fuck, Cas I never thought I’d see you again,” Dean whispered, nuzzling his face into the angels shoulder.

Castiel wrapped an arm around Dean and held his weapon tight with his other hand. “Dean,” he brushed his lips across the mans ear and squeezed him tightly, “don’t move. You were followed.”

Before Dean had a chance to speak, Cas moved Dean behind him with a sweep of his arm. He held his angel blade chest high and pointed it at the person in front of him. “Leave. Or you can join your brothers fate,” he growled, gesturing to the bodies strewn on the ground.

Benny laughed and raised his hands. “I’m guessin’ you’re Cas?”

Castiel felt Dean grab his forearm. “Cas, this is Benny. He helped me get to you.”

The angels arm fell to his side as he frowned. “My apologies. I’m used to—”

“Killin’ anything that gets within spittin’ distance?” Benny huffed and smiled.

“Yes,” Castiel said bluntly. He turned to Dean and looked him over, noticing a gash on his side. “You’re hurt.” He reached out yo inspect it before Dean smirked and batted Cas’ hand away.

“M’fine. Just glad we finally got to you, Cas. I missed you. I thought—”

Castiel glanced at Benny before returning his focus to Dean. “I also thought the worst. It seems as though your new friend kept you alive, for which I am grateful,” he said in Benny’s direction without taking his eyes off Dean.

“I’ll uh…I gotta—,” Benny pointed to a hedge of trees in the distance, “I’m just gonna go over there and—yeah.” He awkwardly made his way out of earshot and settled against a tree, closing his eyes as he smirked.

“I don’t like him,” Castiel scowled, staring off into the trees.

Dean scoffed. “You don’t even know the guy, Cas. I wouldn’t have made it if it wasn’t for him.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. _Now or never _he thought. “He uh, probably glad to get some peace and quiet now. I kind wouldn’t stop talkin’ about you.”

Castiel nodded. “Yes, I suppose it did take some time for us to be reunited. I assume he knows what I am?”

“Yeah, yeah he knows. But that’s not what I’m talkin’ about, Cas.” Dean moved his head so it was in Cas’ line of sight. He locked eyes with the angel for the first time in months. “I told ‘im how much you meant to me, and that I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you. Told him—,” He sighed and twisted his fingers into Cas’ sleeve, “I told him how much I love you.”

Castiels eyes widened. He looked at the man in front of him, watching the blush grow heavily on his cheeks and ears. He reached out and rested his palm against Deans cheek, sweeping his thumb over the thick hair on it and sighed.

“If I had known that getting lost in Purgatory was the answer to you finally saying that, I would’ve—-”

Dean pulled Castiel in flush against his chest. They were both still covered in blood and dirt and God knows what else, but nothing had ever been more perfect than when their lips finally touched.

It was a soft, careful kiss. No rush or urgency behind it. Testing the waters, Dean held the back of Cas’ neck and brushed his tongue across the angels bottom lip.

Castiel sighed into the kiss. With a roll of his jaw, Dean opened willingly and took what Cas gave him. They held each other close as before pulling away for air.

In the distance, they heard a deep chuckle and a twigs snapping as Benny wandered off into the woods, leaving them to get properly reunited.


	6. Chapter 6

~~~I had a little help with this one. My husband is sitting here watching me type away and asked what I was working on. I told him the prompt and he said “I have to perfect idea,” and this is it. I’m actually impressed because he *isn’t* a Destiel shipper (I think I’m changing his mind XD)~~~

“Sammy, I swear. It’s like—,” Dean drifted off, smiling like an idiot. He took a deep breath and sat back in his chair. “I honestly think I’m in love.”

Sam snorted. “You remember last time you said that? A witch hexed you and wanted to steal the Book Of The Damned. AND the Impala.” He narrowed his eyes. “Do I need to test you?”

Dean scoffed and pushed his chair back before standing. “I’m serious, Sam. We met an’ it’s like— I dunno man. I’m just–I’m fucking happy for the first time. She makes me pies, for Christ sake! And she’s got this truck,” he whistled through his teeth, “she’s the whole package. Tight little–”

“Nope, la-la-la-la-,” Sam plugged his ears and stood, knocking his chair over. “I don’t wanna hear about this!”

“Body, Sam! I was gonna say body!” Dean grinned as he watched his brother hustle down the hallway.

~ ~ ~ ~The Next Day~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sam was in the kitchen when he heard the bunker door open.

“Dean! In here,” Sam bellowed. He scooped rice and chicken into a bowl and set it on the counter. “Did you eat yet? I made—,” Sam turned around to see his brother standing in the doorway with a woman, “dinner.” He cocked his head to the side. “Um, hello?”

Dean smiled and put his arm around the woman. “Sam, this is Cassandra. Cassandra, this is my baby brother Sam.”

Sams’ mouth fell open. He snapped it shut and smiled, reaching out his hand. “Hey, uh, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Cassandra stepped forward, flipping her long black hair over her shoulder, and shook Sams hand. “So good to meet you, Sam. Dean talks about you all the time. It’s nice to finally meet you.” Her voice was soft and sweet. She had piercing blue eyes and tanned skin. Her sundress revealed the end of a tattoo Sam couldn’t quite make out, but it looked like feathers.

He cleared his throat when he caught himself staring. “I uh–I made dinner. Did you guys want to—”

“Oh I’d love to,” Cassandra smiled sweetly, turning to face Dean who nodded. She smiled wide and looked back to Sam. “I know we’ve just met, and it’s ok if you say no, but would you mind if after we ate I made dessert? I have a killer banana nut cookie recipe I’ve been dying to try out and this kitchen,” she looked around in awe, “is just amazing. I’d love to give it a whirl.”

Sam couldn’t help it. He liked the girl already.

“Only if you make something sugary and sickening for Dean. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him eat anything remotely healthy,” he chuckled.

“Hey!” Dean huffed and crossed his arms.

“C’mon, Cassandra. Help me set the table?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The week went on much the same.

Cassandra would come over most nights now, spending time with the brothers. Sam had never seen Dean so happy. They cuddled on the couch and tossed popcorn at each other while watching old western movies. Things got heated when Cassandra said John Wayne wouldn’t stand a chance against Billy the Kid, but Dean quickly conceded when Cassandra full on pouted and pretended to be upset. Dean pulled her into his arms and apologized while kissing her tenderly on the forehead.

Things were going great.

Until one night, Sam woke up and padded down the bunker in search of a tall glass of water. He flicked the kitchen light on and gasped. He patted himself down, instinctively searching for a weapon. When he realized he was in his pajamas, he grabbed the closest thing which happened to be a beer bottle. He smashed it against the counter, turning it into a knife.

“Who the hell are you,” he yelled at the figure, holding out the sharp bottle.

The figure stood with it’s back to Sam, giant shadows in the shape of wings spread across the tiled walls. Slowly, the shadows folded into the figure as it turned to face Sam.

“Cassandra?”

“Hello, Sam,” she whispered. “I didn’t think anyone would be awake at this hour. I’m sorry if I startled you.”

Sam blinked rapidly. “Who—what are you?”

“Sam, it’s me. Cas.”

“Yeah, Cassandra, I get that. WHAT are you?” Sam stepped forward, pointing the bottle at her chest.

She shook her head and flicked her wrist. Shards of glass from the floor and the bottle in Sams hand vanished. “No, Sam. It’s me.”

Sam took a half a step back and narrowed his eyes. “What the—”

“Cassandra? Babe, where are y—Oh, hey guys. M’I interrupting somethin’?” Dean tiredly rubbed his eyes and walked over to kiss Cassandra on the cheek.

Sam looked between the two and shook his head. “Messed up. This is messed up,” he whispered to himself.

Dean looked to his brother. “The hell is wrong with you, Sammy?”

Cassandra shifted on her feet.

Dean’s eye bounced back and forth between them.

Sam huffed. “I’m outta here.” He walked out of the kitchen towards his room.

“You ok?” He ran his hand up and down Cassandras arm softly. “Did you and Sam have a fight or somethin’? I can kick his ass if you want,” he smiled.

Cassandra shook her head and smiled. “No. We didn’t fight.” She gestured towards the counter. “Can we sit down? I—I need to tell you something.”

Dean’s eyes widened slightly. “That doesn’t sound good.” He followed her over and sat next to her.

Cassandra smiled and took Deans hand, holding it tightly.

“Dean, do you love me?”

If his eyes weren’t wide before, they were now. He swallowed hard and scratched at his beard.

“I uh, I’ve never said it to anyone before, ‘sides family and stuff. But, yeah, Yeah, Cassandra, I think I do.”

“Why do you love me?” She reached up and ran her fingertips down his cheek.

Dean chuckled and leaned into the touch.

“Well, for one thing, you’re hot as hell.” He nudged her arm and wagged his eyebrows. “Uh,” he cleared his throat, “for real though? You take care’a me. Not like Sammy or mom. But you really take care of me. Help me out when I’m stressed and fallin’ apart. You listen to me even when I don’t make sense. You like my music even though I listen to it too loud and it’s ancient. You get me. It’s easy bein’ with you.”

“Kinda like your friend Cas?” Cassandras eyebrows rose slightly as she tightened her grip on Deans hand.

“Well yeah, but Cas is—he’s a guy. I mean, there was a few times I thought—never mind. Why’re you askin’ me all this? Are you breaking up with me?” Deans face dropped as he spoke the last sentence, realizing the gravity of his words.

Cassandra smiled and patted Dean’s arm. “No, I’m not. But you might after I show you what Sam and I were talking about.”

Dean shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

She stood and leaned down close to Dean. “Remember,” she whispered against Deans lips, “I love you.”

Dean watched as the room filled with blue light. He tried to shield his eyes from it as he watched Cassandras body light from the inside out. She turned into a thousand glowing orbs, lighting the wall behind her. Massive wings spread across the kitchen for the second time that night as her raven hair and pink robe turned to ash, whisking away into the air.

Dean dropped his hands on his lap and gaped at the person in front of him. His mouth opened and shut multiple times before he spoke.

“C-Cas? What—why?” Dean stood quickly, his chair flying across the floor. “What the fuck, Cas! You—you’re—”

“Cassandra,” the angel murmured. Cas straightened his trench coat before looking Dean in the eyes. “Dean, let me explain,” he held his hands up in defense.

“EXPLAIN? Cas! We’ve been—we kissed. We,” he cleared his throat and looked towards the door, making sure Sam was long gone, “we DID stuff. Why are you doing this?”

“I know. Dean, please, sit down,” the angel flicked his wrist and straightened Deans chair, pushing it against the back of his knees.

Dean sat without thinking. He ran both hands over his face and groaned.

“Dean, I never meant to betray your trust. I just—,” Castiel stepped closer to Dean and laid his hand on the mans shoulder. “I just wanted you to be happy. You deserve to be happy and I thought—”

“You thought turning into a hot chick who just HAPPENED to like all the same shit I did, that would make me happy?” Dean shrugged the angels hand off. “Real smart, Cas.”

“I like those things too, Dean. I’ve—I didn’t know how to tell you.” The angel frowned, staring at the floor. “Dean I’ve loved you for so long now. Seeing you unhappy—if it meant I’d have to take that form for the rest of my life to keep you happy, I would. I’m sorry if this changes things between us. I’ll understand if you don’t want to see me again.”

Dean sat there stunned, unblinking.

Cas turned and headed towards the door before stopping. “For what it’s worth, those were the best weeks of my life. I meant what I said, Dean. I love you.” He continued out the door and down the hallway.

His heart was heavy and his eyes brimmed with tears. He mentally kicked himself for thinking something this stupid would work. He expected Dean to hate him. He expected Sam to be angry with him for quite a while.

He didn’t expect to hear footsteps coming down the hall.

He didn’t expect a hand on his shoulder to spin him around on his heels.

He definitely didn’t expect Dean to grab him by the collar of his trench coat and pull him into a desperate kiss.

He grabbed Dean by the back of the neck and kissed him fiercely, his tongue running over the mans lower lip.

Dean pulled away, breathless and smiling.

“You’re a goddamn idiot,” Dean huffed.

“I know,” Castiel smiled. “But I’m your idiot.”


	7. Chapter 7

“SAM!” Dean’s voice echoed off the bunker walls. He was seething. Rage rolled off him as he stomped down the hallway.

“Goddamn it, Sammy, where are you?”

He heard a door click open, then saw his brothers head pop out. “Dean? What’s your problem? Why’re you yelling?

Dean marched up and pointed a finger in his brothers face. “You. YOU are my problem!”

Sam’s eyebrows shot up. “What the hell, man? What did I do?”

Dean crooked his finger at his brother, silently ordering him to follow. He huffed while storming towards the bunkers storage room. He shoved the door open and crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows at his brother.

Sam shifted from one foot to the other. “Um, I can explain.” He rubs the back of his neck nervously and cleared his throat. “I found it. On’a hunt.”

Dean stared at his brother. If looks could kill, Sam would be six feet under and even God himself wouldn’t be able to bring him back.

“A hunt,” Dean dead panned.

“Yeah.”

“Which one? Cuz I sure as HELL wouldn’t let you bring that thing back in Baby,” Dean gestured towards the offending object.

“About that,” Sam winced. “Look, Dean, it’s young. Barely even 4 months old. It would’ve DIED if I didn’t–”

“Then let it! The damn thing isn’t stayin’ here, Sammy. I’ll take care of it myself if you don’t!”

Dean stormed off down the hall and slammed his door.

Sam squatted down, sticking his fingers through the metal bars. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, he’ll come around.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ One Week Later~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dean pressed his pillow against his ears in vein. He tossed and turned, huffed and puffed until he couldn’t take it anymore.

He padded down the hallway to the storage room and swung open the door.

“Listen here,” he growled, pointing at the cage, “It’s 3 am and I need to fucking sleep. If you don’t shut the hell up I’m gonna grab the Colt and—”

Soft whines drifted from the cage. It rattled as it’s inhabitant cowered in the corner.

“Shit,” Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair. He picked a pair of glasses off the shelf and put them on. Crouching down, he came eye level with the beast. “Listen, it ain’t no secret that I don’t like dogs. Let alone you’re kind. If–if you can be quiet, I’ll—I dunno, I’ll look around for someone to take care’a you, alright?”

The hell hound stood slowly, raising it’s nose and sniffing the air. It huffed and slowly approached the front of the cage.

Dean pressed his lips together and adjusted his glasses. “You’re just a little thing aren’t ya?” He slid his pointer finger through the bars and wiggled it.

The hell hound stretched out its neck and sniffed. It slowly crept forward until its nose was pressed against the cage and licked Deans finger.

“Aww, hell,” Dean sighed in defeat. “You don’t wanna hurt anyone do ya, buddy? Just a lil guy wantin’ someone to play with,” he cooed.

“I knew it,” a voice said from the hallway.

Dean stood abruptly and turned around.

“What? No. Wait—what did you know?” Dean quickly swiped the glasses off his face and crossed his arms.

“I knew you’d warm up to him. He’s—kinda cute right?” Sam raised an eyebrow and smirked.

Dean threw his hands up in the air and let them slap on his thighs. “Fine! It’s not THAT bad,” he pointed a finger at his brother and scowled. “But you could have warned me! That thing was in my backseat and I didn’t even know it. It could’ve ripped my head off!”

Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Whatever, man. Night.”

Dean put the glasses back on and crouched down again.

“How ‘bout this, whenever we go on a hunt, I’ll bring you back a doggy bag. Whatd’ya like? Demons. Vamps?” He wiggled his fingers through the cage, feeling the hell hound happily lick at them. “Oooh, what about a nice, juicy ghoul?”

The hell hound’s ears perked up before letting out a small howl.

“You got it, buddy,” Dean smiled.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam was standing in front of the stove in the bunkers kitchen. His phone was sitting on the counter blasting music while he hummed and swayed his hips slightly.

He stirred a brown, thick sauce in a pan while squinting at a cookbook on the counter. He muttered to himself while reading, checking off the ingredients as he added them to the pot.

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

Sam turned his head over his shoulder and smiled. “Hey, Gabe.”

Gabriel came up behind Sam and wrapped his arms around the man. “Something smells…sweet. Samuel Winchester are you making dessert?” The angel mock gasped.

Sam laughed as he added a glob of peanut butter to the pot. “Yes, angel, I am. Just for you.”

Gabriel squeezed Sams waist before he rounded the man and lifted himself up on the counter. “If you had a sweet tooth you could’a just came to me. You know I got the hookup,” he winked.

Sam tapped the wooden spoon on the edge of the pot, blowing on it and cupping his hand underneath it.

“Here,” he said, nudging Gabriels’ knees apart and situating himself between the angels legs. “Taste.”

Gabriel raised and eyebrow and opened his mouth. Leaning forward, he sucked the spoon into his mouth and moaned.

“What the hell, moose! Who knew you could cook!” He licked his lips, effectively smearing chocolate over them.

Sam ran his thumb over the angels lips and smirked. He leaned in and kissed Gabriel, sucking his bottom lip and licking away the chocolate.

“Taste pretty good,” Sam murmured, resting his hands on the angels thighs.

“Y-yeah, it does,” Gabriel stammered. “You’re full of surprises aren’t ya, big guy?”

Sam snorted and carded his fingers through the angels hair. “Would it surprise you to know that these are going to be vegan, sugar free cookies?”

The noise that came out of Gabriels mouth made Sam laugh so hard he forgot about stirring the sauce. It started bubbling and boiling over, sizzling on the burner.

“Shit,” Sam hissed, turning off the heat and quickly moving the pan to the back of the stove.

Gabriel hopped off the counter and glared at Sam. “Serves you right,” he muttered before pulling a candy bar out of his pocket and taking a bite.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS PART ONE OF 3- This is after Dean lets Cas leave the bunker after he says "I think it's time for me to move on"

"This is so stupid," he grumbled. He didn’t know if Cas would hear him, or if he even wanted Cas to hear him. To be honest, he didn’t know what to say. Watching Cas climb those noisy, metallic steps and walk out the door was truly the dumbest thing Dean he had ever done, and that’s saying alot.

He cleared his throat as he positioned himself at the foot of his bed, leg bouncing and fingers interlocking. Bony thumb knuckles pressed against either side of the bridge of his nose as he shook his head.

“This is so stupid,” he whispered again. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath.

“Hey, Cas,” his voice shook quietly. “It’s been two weeks since…” He trailed off and opened his eyes, looking around the room. Not like he was expecting Cas to be there or anything, but it couldn’t hurt to peek. He bowed his head and pinched his eyes shut. “Been two weeks, man. I know–shit, I don’t know, actually. I know what led up to you leavin’ and all, but I—fuck, Cas, I’m so sorry.” He squeezed his hands together, white knuckling his way through his half-assed prayer.

“I know it’s not your fault. Mom, Jack, all the shit I put on you. None of it’s your fault. I just–I get so scared. So fucking scared. An’ with everything we’ve been through, you gotta know I don’t actually blame you. You’re my—you’re my best friend, man. I’m alive because’a you. I’m topside because you beat your way through hell to save me. Still think that was a good idea?” He chuckled at himself, letting a small smile crease his lips.

“For a long time, Sam’s all I had an’ that was fine. I was happy with the way things were. Then–,” he laughed quietly, tilting his head to the side, “then this guy in a stupid trench coat burst through a friggen barn in the middle of the night and changed everything. Don’t know if you know this or not, but I’m not the best at dealin’ with change. But–when you’re around, I can roll with the punches. S’easier with you here.” His hands eased their grip on each other and he splayed his palms across the top of his thighs. “You make everything better. I can—I can breathe when you’re here, Cas, and right now I’m suffocating.” He gripped his thighs tight as he tried to steady his breathing. “Can’t think or sleep or fucking feel anything without you here.” He shook his head at himself. “Feels like—like I’m stuck. I’m stuck here, alone, dyin’ inside. I’m dying without you, Cas. I can feel it.”

He wiped his eyes, suddenly realizing that he was crying. “Fuck,” he whispered. He stood and scuffed his boot on the tiled floor, trying to distract himself from all of this. He let out a long breath as he stared at the ceiling.

“I don’t–I haven’t said this to alot of people, cuz it only hurts in the end, but Cas,” his chin quivered as his voice shook. He closed his eyes and steeled his nerves. “I love you. I can’t live without you. I don’t wanna live without you.” Tears flowed freely down his cheeks and soaked their way into the collar of his flannel. “I don’t even know if you can hear me, but I needed to say it. I had to try.”

Raising his arm, he wiped his cheeks dry with the sleeve of his shirt and sniffed, trying to regain his composure. He opened his eyes slowly, the floor blurrily coming into view. He turned his head, checking behind him for any sign of the angel. 

Nothing.

He thinks maybe since his powers were failing, Cas just didn’t get the message. Or, he thinks maybe Cas is so fucking pissed and fed up with his shit that he’s ignoring him. He can’t decide which option is worse.

A week goes by, and every night Dean prays.

He prays that Cas can hear him. Tells him he loves him and that he’s sorry. Tells him that each day, alone in the bunker is worse than all his time in hell. Pleads for Cas to come home. 

Each night it goes unanswered.

Until one night there’s a knock at his bedroom door. 

He’s sitting up in bed, eyes closed but not sleeping. He can’t do that anymore.

“What?” he barks.

The knock comes again.

“What, Sammy? Tryin’ to sleep,” he lies.

The knock comes a third time and now he’s annoyed. He gets out of bed with a huff and marches over to the door.

“I said ‘what’,” he yells as he swings the door open.

The saddest blue eyes he’s ever seen greet him from the other side of the door. Dark circles under them match his own. The trench coat he’s grown so fond of is wrinkled and stained.

He takes a deep breath and holds it.

“Hello, Dean.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PART 2 OF 3- Cas POV of Dean praying

He really thought Dean would stop him.

He took the steps one at a time, hoping with each one he’d hear Dean call out to him.

“Cas, wait.”

“Stop.”

“Hang on, man. We can talk about this.”

But he didn’t.

He hesitated before reaching for the door. Surely Dean was going to stop him.

But he didn’t.

He closed the door behind him without looking back. If he wasn’t wanted anymore, he wasn’t going to give Dean the satisfaction of a goodbye.

He looked up into the night sky and sighed. He felt heavy. Everything just felt so heavy. His feet that could barely carry him to his car. His shoulders that felt like they were holding up the whole universe. His head and eyes. His heart.

His heart was so heavy that he wanted to reach inside his vessel and rip it out. It wasn’t doing him any favors anyway. It’s what got him into this mess.

He knew. He KNEW that getting involved with Dean was a bad idea. Everyone warned him. 

“Too close to people in his charge.” 

“In love with humanity.”

“When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost.”

At the time, he didn’t care. Dean needed him and he’d be damned if he was going to let him down.

But it’s different now. Dean is different now. He is different now. Jack changed everything. Jack made Cas feel human. The pull of wanted to be a parent, to care for and raise a child. To have such an impact on the world just by imparting his wisdom into a loving, gentle child. He wanted that more than anything.

Now Jack is gone. He failed. He failed Jack and Mary and Sam and Dean and most of all himself. The feeling gnawed at him as he drove down the highway without a destination in mind. He needed to get out of there. Away from the guilt and pain and overwhelming sadness of being a failure he felt when he was at the bunker.

So he drove. He drove until he ran out of gas. He walked until his feet couldn’t carry him anymore. He collapsed on the hotel bed when his shoulders lost the fight of holding his body up. His head and his eyes gave up and let him sleep. But his heart kept sinking.

It sunk so deep he wasn’t sure it was even there anymore. He wasn’t sure he was even an angel anymore. He can’t fly, his powers are failing, he couldn’t even hear angel radio anymore. So what was he? Just another useless, helpless, hopeless human. No wonder Dean didn’t stop him. What good was he to anyone? Rowena stopped the apocalypse. Sam helped her. Dean tossed the spell into the rupture. And what did he do? He killed his son. He looked into his sons eyes as he burned the demon out of his body. He watched his son turn to ash by his own hand.

“All I do is hurt the people I love,” he muttered against his tear stained pillow. He buried his face deep into it to shut out the pulsating neon glow of the motel sign. “I’m no good. I’m–I’m just nothing. I’m nothing,” he sighed.

Peeling himself off the bed, his feet hit the scratchy carpet for the first time in a week. He rubbed his bloodshot eyes and looked towards the bathroom. Willing his feet to carry him, he turned the handle of the shower. The pipes rumbled in the wall and the faucet squealed to life. The room filled with steam as he let the water wash over his sore shoulders. He hung his head and closed his eyes, willing the ache in his heart to be washed away.

The hiss of the water filled his ears. Louder and louder, until it hurt his head. He gripped the sides of his head in pain. The ringing in his ears drowned out any other noise.

“This is so stupid.”

He fumbled with the handle, turning it off immediately. He stood there in the shower trembling, waiting.

“Hey, Cas.”

A broken sob ripped through his chest. He pressed his hands against the wet tiles.

“It’s been two weeks since…”

Dean’s voice filled his ears like the sweetest song he’s ever heard. The most gorgeous sound in the universe. It pulled him from the depths and into the present. He listened to Deans prayer as he slumped down into the tub.

“I know what led up to you leavin’ and all but I—fuck, Cas, I’m so sorry.”

Tears streamed down his face as he consumed every word. He listened to Dean apologize as his feet carried him out of the bathroom. 

“None of it’s your fault.”

Felt his trench coat slip over his shoulders before he realized that he was getting dressed.

“You’re my best friend.”

His head was swimming with Dean’s prayer as he climbed into his car.

“Then this guy in a stupid trench coat burst through a friggen barn in the middle of the night and changed everything.”

Eyes trained on the asphalt, he barreled down the road.

“I can breath when you’re not here, Cas, and right now I’m suffocating. I can’t think or sleep or fucking feel anything without you here. Feels like I’m stuck. I’m stuck here alone, dyin’ inside. I’m dying without you, Cas.”

His heart beat back to life. Emotions flowing through his veins for the first time in weeks.

“I love you. I can’t live without you. I don’t wanna live without you.”

His entire being resonated with life. His foot pressed harder on the pedal, letting instinct direct him towards the bunker.

Each night, when his body forced him to stop and rest, he listened. Dean called to him every night. Cried out for Cas to forgive him and come home. Each night he drove longer and further, willing his body to fight off the call of a soft bed at some random motel.

He reached Kansas in record time.

His feet barely touched the stairs that once led him out of the bunker.

His shoulders felt light for the first time in a long time as he jogged swiftly down the hallway.

His head was buzzing with words he’d been dying to say to Dean.

His eyes brimmed with tears as he knocked on the door in front of him.

His heart stopped when it opened.

“Hello, Dean.”


	11. Chapter 11

"Hello, Dean."

His voice quiet and a little breathless from running down the hallway. His heart pounding. The last two weeks led up to this important moment.

The most important moment of Cas’ very, very long life. More important than when he watched the universe come to be. More important than when the darkness was sealed away and the light shone upon the Earth. More important than when God said he was making humans and all the angels must love them as they loved him. More important than when Cas was ordered to save Dean from the depths of hell. More important than getting the Leviathans back into Purgatory. More important than stopping the world from ending, from helping Jack, from bringing Mary back.

Dean stared at Castiel for a long time. Hours, it felt like. In reality it was probably more like five seconds. His eyes were wide but the telltale signs of exhaustion and, not that he’d ever admit it, redness from crying. His face covered with scruff from not caring to shave.

He stood there, shifting from one foot to the other while Dean stared.

“May–can I—Dean, can we talk?”

Dean blinked and shook his head. “Yeah–yeah, ‘course, Cas. You wanna–um, come in. You can—just–come in.” He gestured towards his too dark room and closed the door behind the angel who walked hesitantly inside.

They stood a few feet apart and continued the awkward staring contest.

Castiel looked down at his feet and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“I heard your prayers.”

Dean pressed his lips together tightly and grunted. “I uh, wasn’t sure if you’d get them. Thought maybe,” he waved his hand in no particular direction, “lost your mojo or somethin’.”

Castiel nodded. “I did for a while. Seems as though your prayer broke through whatever was blocking my powers.”

“Oh,” was all Dean could say because honestly, what could he possibly say to something like that?

Castiel looked at Dean. “Dean–”

“No, Cas. Listen.” Dean held his hand up and took a step forward. “What I said–before you left I mean–an’ I guess in my prayers, too. I just needed you to know. Need you to know that it ain’t your fault.” Pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing, he approached the angel carefully. “None of this shit is your fault. I’ll never forgive myself for what I said to you. An’ all the crap I piled on your shoulders?” His voice shook as his eyes began to tear. He looked the angel in his eyes and held out his hand. “I never should’ve treated you, of all people, like that. I’m so fucking sorry, Cas. I can’t–I’ll never be able to tell you how sorry I am.”

Castiel pulled his hand out of his pocket and gently ran his fingers over Deans shaking palm before taking hold. His weary eyes searched Deans for a moment. He missed looking into those eyes. It’s like God himself handpicked that color and only shared it with Dean.

“Things have been bad for a very long time, Dean. Ever since the Leviathans. I’ve–”, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, shaking his head, “I feel like all I do is let you down. Let everyone down, especially when I’m needed most. I understand your anger. I’m angry with myself. All the time. It feels—feels like I’m losing myself.”

Dean raised his eyebrows, opening his mouth to speak before the angel held up a hand.

“I’ve been here for a long time. A very long time. But nothing in this universe is more important to me than you are.” He furrowed his brow, holding Deans hand tighter. “I’m certain that I was put in this world to be with you, Dean. Nothing in my life has made me happier. I’ve misjudged situations countless times and made more mistakes than I care to admit,” his eyes watered as he stepped in close to Dean, personal space long gone. “but somehow, you always seem to fix it. Fix me. You make me, a flightless broken angel, feel like I’m worth something. You took me in. You were patient.”

Dean raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“You were patient most of the time,” Cas smiled, looking down as Dean interlocked their fingers.

“But the fact is, Dean, you made me who I am. I was a shell before I met you. A God fearing warrior who never disobeyed an order, no matter how terrible it was. You–you showed me what it was to be human. To make my own decisions,” his hand rose to meet Deans jaw, barely touching the long coarse hair, “to feel.”

Dean leaned into the touch, nudging Castiels hand. “Cas, I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” he closed his eyes and sighed, “but I can try an’ show you,” he whispered.

Castiels fingers ghosted over Deans cheek and behind his ear, gently taking hold on the back of his neck. “Dean that’s not necess–”

Dean leaned forward, pulling the angel flush against his shaking body. Their noses brushed together, their breaths mingled in the small distance between them.

“Cas,” Dean sighed quietly before clearing his throat, “Castiel. I love you. I love–”

Castiel moved what felt like miles to close the distance between their lips.

Some first kisses were born from desperation. Some from joy, or drunken hormones. Some purely for pleasure or spite. First kisses are a dime a dozen. Some are so special that poetry is written about them, others are long forgotten.

But this. This was different.

All the moments leading up to this, this right now, didn’t matter. The first star being born and lighting the darkness of a new galaxy. A ball of dirt slowly growing into a habitable planet. God’s and men, war and peace. Nothing mattered more than when their lips touched for the first time.

The dark room light up like an overzealous family’s yard on Christmas. Lightbulbs burst throughout the bunker as the two held each other close. Tasting the years of pent up need and want and fucking craving each other for the first time.

Sparks flew when Castiel entered that barn all those years ago, but this. This time they soared. Blue orbs scattered around the room lighting up the walls and ceiling. The first stars had nothing on what was resonating from the angel as Dean poured his heart and soul and blood and tears into the kiss.

Castiel held him tight, giving Dean everything he could. Adoring, relishing, savoring and absolutely for the first time–loving. He was loving Dean and Dean was letting him.

For the first time Dean was loving Castiel. And it felt so right. It wasn’t hidden away in a box under his bed. It wasn’t stolen glances in the rear view mirror of the Impala. It wasn’t gentle shoulder touches or brilliant smiles.

It was right here and now.

In this room.

A man and an angel.

Loving each other.

For the first time.


	12. Chapter 12

“I can’t believe you’re making me go,” Dean grumbled while straightening his collar.

“Oh, please,” Sam scoffed, “the minute I saw the invitation I knew you’d want to go.”

Dean turned around once he deemed himself suitable. “That does’t give you the right to RSVP for me.” He took a long swig of his beer and sighed. “I dunno, maybe it’ll be alright. Get to see all the chicks I used to bang turned into hot moms,” he laughed.

“You’re disgusting,” Sam sighed. “Come on man, lets go. Stop–,” he slapped Dean’s hand away from his collar, “stop fidgeting with your damn shirt and lets go.”

\- - - - - - - - 

“I can’t do this.” Dean’s head hit the steering wheel as he groaned.

“You’re SUCH, a baby,” Sam said as he swung the car door open. “Remember, free bar.”

“Freebarfreebarfreebarfreebar,” he chanted the whole walk up to his old school. There was a huge banner with glittery words that spelled out WELCOME BACK CLASS OF ‘97! “Ugh, god, here we go,” he groaned.

Sam walked ahead of him up to a table with name tags. He ripped off two and wrote his name on one, carefully placing it on his chest. He scribbled Deans name on the other and slapped it against his sternum.

“Thanks, bitch,” Dean grunted, picking at the sticker.

“Welcome, jerk. Ready?”

Dean shook his head and pushed his hand through a wall of streamers.

“This is hell. Literal hell,” Dean said while scanning the room.

The old gym was decorated in streamers and disco balls. Laser lights cast different geometric shapes against the walls and pulsed in time with the horrible music blasting from the DJ booth on stage.

Sam smiled. “This is kinda awesome,” he yelled over the music.

Dean, who was already getting a headache, spied the bar and mimed to Sam that he was getting a drink. He walked up to the makeshift bar and leaned against it, holding up one finger.

“Beer, whatever ya got,” he shouted. He turned his head over his shoulder and watched four women dance (poorly) in a circle. They were all staring at his brother and pointing.

The bartender turned around while popping the cap off a brown bottle. “Here ya g— Dean?”

Dean’s eyebrows raised as he turned his had back towards the bar. “Holy shit. Cas?”

Castiel smiled wide, his eyes shining in the light of the disco ball hanging above the bar. For a moment, they just stared at each other.

Dean cleared his throat.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Cas tilted his head to the side, still smiling.

“Sam made me come,” he lied. “So, they uh–got you bar tending, huh?”

Castiel nodded and slid a beer to someone next to Dean with a smile. “Yeah, Meg thought it would be hilarious.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Shit,” Dean took a drink of his beer and smiled. “I forgot all about Meg Masters.”

“I wish I could. We’re roommates,” Castiel sighed.

Dean’s eyes widened. “Damn man, that’s gotta be rough,” he laughed. “I remember her havin’ a pretty big crush on you in 9th grade.”

“Yeah, poor thing. That’s before she knew I was gay. Once that cat was out of the bag we became best friends. Can’t seem to get rid of her,” Castiel said loudly, looking over his shoulder.

“Oh, Clarence. You know you love me,” a voice cooed. “Heya, Dean-o. How’s it hangin’?”

“Hey, Meg,” Dean grumbled, taking a long drink.

“We’re outta ice, Cas. Run to the cafeteria and get some?” Meg flipped her black hair over her shoulder and smiled. “Please?”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Be right back.”

Dean nodded and watched Castiel walk through the wall of streamers before he finally brought his attention back to Meg.

“You know he had a thing for you, right?”

“What,” Dean choked on his beer. “N-no he didn’t,” he sputtered.

Meg laughed and leaned against the bar. “Please. He was like a lovesick puppy through most of high school. He basically came out and confessed his love for you in one breath.”

Dean stared at her for a full minute before he spoke. “He seein’ anyone,” he asked as nonchalantly as possible while picking at the label on his bottle.

“Smooth,” Meg leveled Dean a look. “I swear to god, if you just plan on lovin’ and leavin’ him, I’ll find you. And I’ll kick your perfectly shaped ass, Dean. Cas is my best friend and I can’t have him talking about you for another ten fucking years.”

Dean gaped at her. “I won’t. I swear. I–I won’t even touch him. I mean, I’m not even—ga–I’m not. I’m–”

Meg put her hand up. “Just—just stop. It’s getting pathetic. I’ve known about you since the 10th grade. Remember Rhonda Hurleys pool party?”

Dean gulped. “Vaguely. Why?”

Meg stood up straight, eyeing Castiel walking into the room with a tub of ice. “Let’s just say she told me about your—how shall I put it— extracurricular activities.”

Deans eyes danced over her face. “Uh, yeah, so? We fucked a few times.”

Meg raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? And how many of those times involved panties and a butt plug? Oh, Clarence you’re a lifesaver.”

Castiel’s eyes darted between Meg and Dean.

“Did I miss something?”

“Nope,” they answered at the same time.

“I’m outta here, boys. Dean, nice seeing you,” Meg scowled before turning and leaving with a bottle of vodka.

“Man, she’s still scary as hell,” Dean sighed.

“Yep. Try living with her,” Castiel sighed. “So, you in town for a while or just the night,” he asked while dumping the ice in a tub.

Dean bit back a smile as he took the last drink of his beer. “Just for tonight, actually. You still livin’ around here?”

“Mhmm,” Castiel grinned. “’Bout three minutes away, actually.”

“Really,” Dean said in a low voice.

Castiel raised an eyebrow as he leaned down, grabbing something from behind the bar. He placed a sign on the counter top that said “Back In Twenty”.

“Better make that forty-five,” Dean growled, grabbing Castiels hand and dragging him out of the gym.


	13. Chapter 13

“This isn’t happening,” Sam groaned. “It can’t. This. Is NOT. Happ–no! Cas, stop!!”

A flash of black hair and giggles disappeared into thin air.

“Shit. Dean? Dean! Where you at buddy?” Sam called out.

“Shhhh, Cas! He gonna hear us!”

“Hey! I’m not the one goin’ ‘shhh’ so loud! Sammy is gonna hear YOU firs–”

The closet door flew open. “There you are. Guys, come on. Please, just stay in ONE spot ok? Watching you guys is giving me whiplash.”

The two five year old boys raced out of the closet and down the hall.

“I’m gonna find that witch and burn her to absolute ashes,” Sam muttered, stomping down the hallway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later on that night, Sam was in the kitchen grumbling under his breath.

“Guys! Dinner! Dean, I made pie!”

Little footsteps came padding down the hallway.

“Hey, Cas, stop shovin’! You don’ even eat food!”

“Do, too!” Cas yelled, pushing Dean into the doorjamb.

“There’s enough for everyone, guys. Quit fighting,” Sam scolded. “Sit at the table. Cas, wash your hands.”

“I did!”

“When?”

“…..before.”

“Before what?”

Cas sighed and dropped his shoulders. “Fine.”

“C’n I have pie first?” Dean asked, pulling the tin close to his chest.

“No, Dean. I made you a burger. Dinner, then dessert.” 

“But—” Dean put on his best mean face “I’m a man! I can do wha’ever I want!”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Dude, you’re five. When we find the witch that did this and get you grown up again, you can have pie whenever you want. But for now, you and Cas HAVE to listen to me.” He turned to Castiel who just walked back into the kitchen, wiping his hands on his over sized t-shirt. “And NO flying.”

“Wha! Why?” Castiel pouted.

“I have to idea where you and Dean go when you flutter off. You can’t be taking my brother to who-the-hell-knows where.”

Dean giggled. “We has a super secret spot.”

Cas scowled at Sam. “Yeah. And no grown ups is ‘llowed!”

“Sit. Eat.” Sam pointed at the table and pushed a plate in Cas’ direction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, uh…Dean, you can go first,” Sam pointed to the tub full of warm soapy water. “Get in, clean up and then get your pajamas on.”

“I don’t HAVE pajamas. Nothin’ fits me, DUH,” Dean sighed as he climbed into the tub.

Sam groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You can wear one of your grown up t-shirts or something ok?”

Castiel appeared in the tub next to Dean. “I got’s a shirt you can wear!”

“Cas! You can’t—you gotta wait your turn!” Sam squealed.

Dean was already laughing and making Cas a bubble mohawk. Realizing this was a loosing battle, he sat on the toilet lid and watched the boys splash and play.

“Ooooh look at da big bad angel,” Dean said in a deep voice.

Castiel cleared his throat and lowered his chin. “My name is Castiel and I’m an angel of da Loooord.” He slapped the water and sent it flying over the bathroom.

“Ok, guys. Time to get out. Pajamas and bedtime, alright?”

Before Dean could protest, Sam turned around and pointed a finger at him. “No complaining.”

Both the boys pouted and climbed out of the tub.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“…..and then, with a swing of his silver knife, John sliced off the evil vampires’ head and saved the day. The end.” Sam whispered the last lines of his made-up story. He tucked the blanket up under their chine and brushed the hair from Dean’s forehead. “Night, guys.”

Sighing, Sam sat down in the war room and pulled out his phone.

“Well hellow, Mr. Winchester. What can I do for you?”

“Rowena, I need help,” Sam sighed.

“What is it this time?” she asked, annoyance building in her voice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Converterent alica, sic faciam illud!”

Purple waves shot from Rowenas fingers and traveled up the bed. In a flash of blinding light, the once five year old boys were now grown men snuggling in bed together.

“Oh I have GOT to get a picture of this,” Sam snorted, pulling out his phone.

Rowena placed her hand on Sams’ chest and shook her head. “Leave the poor lads be.”

Dean grunted in his sleep and pulled Cas closer, nuzzling his nose into the angels neck.

“I think this is going to be the start of somethin’, just you wait and see,” Rowena said with a smile.


	14. Chapter 14

It had been a shit-show of a day.

The day started off fighting with Sam because he forgot to buy coffee. He NEEDS coffee, and Sam knows this. He had to suffer through Sams’ spiel about how “smoothies would be better”, and “you’re too dependent on caffeine”. Says the moose who requires fucking kale to function properly.

Then, when he was in to store buying coffee, someone sideswiped the mirror on the Impala.

Never has the local grocery store heard such colorful language. He kicks and screams at the closest thing, which happens to be a large metal mailbox. His shoelace gets caught around one of the legs and jerks him forward, falling face first into the letter box.

When he get’s home, all he wants to do is drink his coffee in peace, and maybe shove his headphones on and blare Zeppelin.

But, no. Of course he can’t. His headphones are missing.

“FUCK! Can’t anything go right today?!” he yells at the ceiling.

“Dean? What’s wrong?” Cas appears from thin air behind him.

Dean sighs, shoulders sagging with defeat. “Everything. Absolutely everything is wrong today. I can’t catch a damn break. No coffee, someone hit Baby, smacked my face on a mailbox, and my damn headphones are gone.” He sulks down the hallway and slams the door.

A few hours later, Dean heard a knock on his door.

“Go away,” he yells.

A minute later, there’s another knock.

“Fucking what?!” He strides across the room and yanks the door open.

“Sorry, Dean. I thought—”

Dean looks down at Cas’ hands.

“—you said you didn’t have any coffee. I went to the store and—honestly, I don’t know what kind you like. I got something called ‘Jamaican-Me-Crazy’ decaf.” He holds the steaming cup to Dean with a bright smile.

Dean huffs through his nose and takes the mug. “Thank you, Cas. S’really nice of you, but you didn’t have to do—”

“Also,” Cas interrupts, “I brought you an ice pack and bandages for your face.” He holds up a pink box of bandaids that have princess crowns and stars on them. “Do you mind?”

Dean opens the door and holds his arm out as an invitation. He takes a sip of coffee before setting it down on his nightstand.

Castiel is concentrating on peeling the backing off one of the bandaids as Dean sits down on the bed.

“Here,” Castiel reaches out and carefully spreads the bandage over the tiny cut above Deans right eyebrow. “I’m sorry you’re having a bad day, Dean.”

Dean looks up through his lashes at the angel. “S’ok, man. It happens. Ever heard the term ‘when it rains, it pours’?”

Castiel cocks his head. “No. I haven’t. But I understand the reference.” He pats the bandage to make sure it’s secure. “There. Good as new.”

Dean smiles for the first time that day. “Thanks, Cas.”

“I found these,” he starts pulling something out of his pocket, “in the storage room. I thought maybe you could use them for your headphones.

They are the oldest, dustiest, most ancient pair of headphones Dean has ever seen. He tilts his head back and laughs. Hard.

The sound is wonderful and makes Castiel smile wide. “Truthfully, I’m not sure they even work. But it was worth a shot.”

Dean pats Cas on the arm. “Oh, man, Cas. What would I do without you?”

He squeezes the angels arm and lets his hand drop to Cas’ fingers.

“Wait until you see your car. I’m fairly confident the duct tape I used to secure–”

“THE WHAT?!”


	15. Chapter 15

The first time it was a mistake. Truly. Dean walked into Cas’ room looking for any laundry that needed doing. Bending over and grumbling about a ‘messy ass roommate’ not putting his clothes in the provided hamper, something caught his eye. There’s a brown leather book sticking out from under the mattress.

He tossed the clothes into the basket held on his hip and walked over to the bed. Pulling it out slightly, he saw the word “CAS” inscribed on the front, and a bookmark about halfway through.

“Hmph,” Dean smirked. Cas had a diary which, for some reason, Dean found adorable. He tucked it back into place and padded out towards the laundry room.

The second time, it was only a little by mistake, or that’s what Dean tells himself.

He knocked on Cas’ door and opened it. “Cas, hey man, dinner is ready. Oh.”

Castiel stuffed the book under his pillow. “I’ll be right there,” the ex-angel said quickly. He walked towards Dean and cocked his head. “Was there something else, Dean?”

“No, no. Nothin’. Go on, it’ll get cold. I’m uh…I gotta hit the head,” Dean stammered.

Cas nodded and headed towards the kitchen. Waiting until Cas was out of sight, Dean tiptoed (literally) into the bedroom and stuck his hand under the pillow. He unwound the strap and opened it to the first page.

“September 18th, 2018-

Dear….what do I call you? Diary? Journal? Piece of paper?

Sam said journaling would help me with conflicting feelings about becoming human. Now that I don’t have my wings or powers, things are very uncomfortable.”

Dean flicked a few pages further.

“November 24th, 2018-

Sam and Dean are making copious amounts of food for Thanksgiving. Seeing as it is my first time celebrating the holiday, I suspect they are going ‘all out’, as Dean puts it.”

Dean smirks and leafs through a few more pages.

“December 25th, 2018-

Merry Christmas, journal. Sam bought me a new trench coat. I didn’t want to tell him, but it makes me feel somewhat sad wearing it. I’m not that angel anymore. Unfortunately, I am just a man now. The bracelet I purchased for Dean made him smile.”

“Dean? Hey, man, I’m gonna eat all the burgers myself if you don’t get your ass out here!” Sam yelled.

Dean stuffed the book under the pillow and darted down the hallway.

During the next few weeks, Dean found himself sneaking into Cas’ room and reading snippets of the journal. He knew it was wrong, but it was nice to get inside the guys head every now and then.

“January 24th, 2019-

Today is Dean’s birthday. He won’t admit it, but he likes celebrating it. Sam got him something called an ‘IPA’ and I made him a mixtape of my favorite songs. I remember how much I like the one he made me.”

“March 19th, 2019-

Today was a bad day. I need to get out of this bunker.”

Dean frowns and flips to the next page. Looking at the spine, he notices alot of the pages are torn out.

“June 12th, 2019-

Things are getting better. Dealing with human emotions isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I like the feeling after I eat toast with honey, but I do NOT like jealousy. Sam explained it to me after @@@@@@”

Cas had scribbled out the next few sentences.

“What the hell?” Dean squinted at the scratchings, trying to decipher it.

“June 28th, 2019-

He did it again today. It’s so nice to see him smile. It makes me feel warm inside. I don’t have a name for this feeling yet, though.”

“July 13th, 2019-

He’s infuriating. Why can’t he just talk to me about what’s wrong? Being human is TERRIBLE!

*Never mind. He’s wonderful.”

“July 30th, 2019-

My stomach feels funny. I checked in with Sam and explained my symptoms. He laughed at me and said that what I was feeling were ‘butterflies’. I don’t understand. I didn’t eat any butterflies, and if I did, my stomach acids would have dissolved them. I’m going to ask Google what it means.

*I understand now. Sam is right. I do have butterflies :)”

“What the hell?” Dean squeaked. He tossed the book down on the bed and stormed out of the room. Something strange was churning in his stomach.

Later that night Dean was drinking a beer in the war room when Cas walked in.

“Hello, Dean,” the ex-angel greeted.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean mumbled.

“Is something wrong?”

“Nope. Everything’s peachy,” he snipped, taking another drink of beer.

Castiel took two steps forward and tilted his head. “Dean, you know you can talk to me, right? About anything.”

Dean shook his head. There’s absolutely no reason he should be this angry at Cas.

“Yeah, buddy, I know. Thanks.” Dean stood up and walked over to Cas, patting his shoulder as he passed. “I’m just gonna hit the hay. Night.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean poked his head into the bathroom. He could hear the shower start and Cas had just started his playlist. He had about 15 minutes before he was finished. Dean dashed to Cas’ room and found the journal.

“August 3rd, 2019-

I’m starting to suspect he has feelings for me, too. I hope I’m not going crazy. I FEEL like I’m going crazy, but Sam said that’s normal.”

(Dean makes a mental note to talk to Sam at some point)

“He said ‘being in love makes you say and think crazy things’. Anytime I think about him the butterflies come back and when we touch I feel like I’m going to throw up. I’m scared to tell him how I feel. If he doesn’t have the butterflies, too, I’m going to be very embarrassed. That’s another emotion I learned. It happened when I ate too many burritos and passed ga–”

“Dean?” a voice called from the doorway.

“Shit,” Dean hissed, turning and holding the book behind his back. “Hey, sorry Cas. I was just lookin’ for–”

“What are you doing in here? Why do you have my–” Castiel scowled.

Dean bit his lip. “Fuck. Ok, I’m sorry,” he mumbled, tossing the book onto the bed with a sigh. “I–I found your diary–”

“Journal.”

“Yeah–journal.”

“And you read it?” Castiel tightened the towel around his waist and charged forward, scooping the book up. “Dean, how could you?”

Panic spread throughout his body and up his spine. “I’m sorry, Cas, really. I am. I never meant to–”

“How far did you get?” Castiel asked.

“What?”

“How. Far. Did you get?” He took step towards Dean.

“I, uh…” Dean flushed red and picked at his nails. “You think the guy you—y’know, might like you back.”

“I see,” Castiel breathed out.

“Which is totally cool, by the way. No judgement here.” Dean held up his hands in defense. “Just–”

“Just what?”

Dean scratched the back of his head. “How’d uh—how’d you guys meet? I mean, sounds like you two see each other all the time and uh, was just wonderin’. You never write his name so, just kinda curious I guess.”

Castiel just stares at him like a confused baby bird.

“Know what? Doesn’t matter. Non’a my business. I’ll get outta your hair now–”

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

Castiel walks over to his dresser and pulls out a wad of folded papers. He shoves them into Dean’s chest and motions for him to leave the room.

Dean sulks down the hallway, confused and upset with himself. He shuts his door behind him and sat on his bed. Unfolding the top paper, he smooths over the creases and reads.

“April 7th, 2019-

I’m starting to feel strange things whenever Dean is around. I can’t seem to focus.

April 18th, 2019-

He has a new freckle just under his nose. It’s tiny, but it’s there. Dean caught me staring again today and reminded me that it’s ‘creepy’. I can’t seem to help myself.

May 1st, 2019-

Dean walked down the hallway without a shirt on today. I forgot how to breathe for a moment.

*He did it again tonight. I had very vivid dreams.

May 14th, 2019-

I can’t stand this anymore. I need to talk to someone.

May 18th, 2019-

Sam seems to think that Dean and I have ‘been up each others asses’ for years. I’ve never been up Dean’s ass before.

May 23rd, 2019

I think I’m falling for my best friend.”

Dean takes a moment to collect himself. He wipes his cheek with the back of his hand before standing up and heading out of his room.

He knocks softly on Cas’ door. After a moment, the door opens.

“Heya, Cas,” Dean smiles, clutching the papers.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean steps inside and the door closes with a soft click.


	16. Chapter 16

“You’re So Fucked,”

Gabriel laughed. The pain in his ribs made it come out more of a whine than a laugh.

A redheaded demon gripped Gabriel’s hair tight and yanked his head to the side.

“Yeah? Looks like you’re the fucked one. You’re tied to a fucking bed and torn practically in half,” he demon sneered, smirking at the other demon in the room. “The balls on this guy are incredible.”

“Tell me,” the other demon (Clark or something, Gabe can’t really remember) sneered, “why are WE fucked, feathers?”

Gabriel coughed and spit blood on the demons shoes. He grinned wide, showing off his red stained teeth before letting out a sigh.

“I’m friends with the Winchesters.”

The demons stared at him.

“And?” the redhead huffed.

“More specifically, Sam Winchester,” Gabriel’s head rolled to the side, eyeing the door.

“Big fucking deal, pal,” Clark (or whatever) pulled his eyebrows together in confusion.

“Ya know, he’s soulless now. Bad temper. Especially when someone fucks with his family.”

“You’re calling yourself part of the Winchester’s family?” The redhead barked a laugh and leaned down to the Gabriel’s ear. “You’re nothing to them. You’re a pathetic excuse for an angel and they only use you when they need something.”

Gabriel turned his head to the angel and smiled. “Oh he uses me, alright. Haven’t you heard, bucko? I’m Sammy’s new boy toy. You’re lookin’ at the most important thing in his life, other than Dean-o. He’ll find me, and sooner than you might think.”

Redhead straightened his back and glanced over to Clark (maybe?) with wide eyes, then back to the angel.

“You’re lying. Sam’s not—He isn’t gay”

“Yeah, no shit asshat. He’s bi. Bi as he is long and let me tell ya boys, he is loooooong,” he winked, instantly regretting it. His cheek burned and the cut under his eye oozed out fresh blood.

“Even so,” redhead sneered, “you’ll be dead before he gets here.”

Gabriel just smiled and rested his head back on the bed.

There was a loud crash and screaming from the next room. The sounds of metal-on-metal and bodies being dropped to the floor.

The door flew open and Sam stood in the doorway, shrouded in the red emergency lights. His long hair soaked in sweat covered most of his face. His beard dripped with fresh blood as he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, grinning when he laid eyes on Gabriel.

“Hey, baby boy,” he purred, taking a step forward and looking his angel up and down.

Gabriel wriggled with excitement on the bed. “‘Bout damn time. These fucks really did a number on me.”

“That so?” He took another step towards redhead and smirked. “You hurt my angel?”

Redhead squared his shoulders and raised his chin. “Carved his insides up nice ‘n good. What’re you gonna do about it Winchester,” the demon spat.

“Well first,” he pointed his blade at the redhead, “I’m gonna stab you in the gut and slide this pretty knife up to your tongue.” He paused for a moment, moving hair out of his eyes with the knife. “Second, I’m gonna rip your throat out,” he pointed at Clark and smiled, “with my teeth.”

Gabriel shuddered on the table, watching Sam creep closer and closer to the redhead.

“Just a minute baby boy, I’ll be right with ya,” Sam grinned over at the angel.

“You know the worst thing about you demons,” Sam lunged at the redhead. He plunged his blade deep into his stomach and twisted, shoving it upward until it got stuck in demons throat. He leaned in as the demon started gagging, watching the red lights flash behind his eyes. “You talk too fucking much.”

Clark tipped his head back, preparing to smoke out of his body. Black smoke started pluming between his lips before he felt a hand around his throat. He was lifted off the ground until he could barely reach the floor.

Sam tsked and smiled. “See, now you’re smarter than your friend here,” he nodded to the ground where the still bleeding demon was laying, it’s intestines sprawling across the floor. “At least you had the sense to try and get away. Too bad it didn’t fuckin’ work though, huh?”

The demons eyes watered as he gasped. His tiptoes swayed and swiped at the ground beneath him, trying desperately to find a grip.

Sam’s smirk was pure evil as he watched the demon panic.

“You’re going to taste so good,” he purred. “The adrenaline pumping in your vessels blood right now makes it taste,” Sam raised his blade to the demons cheek and nicked the skin. He slowly leaned in, opening his mouth and gently licking a stripe up the shaking demons face. “Mmm,” he sighed, “sweet.” He shoved the blade forward into the demons chest. He smiled wide before jerking the demon forward and biting down on it’s neck, tearing at the skin and muscle underneath. Slurping and sucking noises filled the room as Sam drank his fill.

When he was satisfied, he dropped the lifeless demon onto the ground and stalked over to Gabriel with a wicked grin.

“Ya know,” he mused, swiping his palm down his blood soaked beard, “kinda like you all tied up.” He tapped the straps that were holing the angel down and cocked his head.

Gabriel scowled playfully and wiggled his hips. “What’s say you get me the fuck out of these and I’ll let you tie me to anything you want for as long as you want?”

Sam gripped the straps and ripped them off by the hinges. He wrapped an arm around the angel and swung him up until he was sitting on the bed. Leaning in, he sucked Gabriel’s lower lip into his mouth before turning it into a filthy, wet, blood soaked kiss.

“Missed you,” Sam whispered.

“You sap.”


	17. Chapter 17

Sam muttered. Gentle fingers threaded through his hair as he sat on the floor of his bedroom. “If Dean finds out about this—”

“Hey,” Gabriel tugged lightly on a lock of hair, “I promised I wouldn’t take pictures or tell anyone about it. Just sit there on your sexy little ass and enjoy something for once, alright?” Sam blushed and felt the angel flick him on top of his head before he went back to braiding.

“Where’d you learn how to do this anyway?” Sam smiled at the thought of Gabriel pestering his fledgling brothers and sisters in Heaven, chasing and wearing them down until they said yes.

“I–uhm…Dad taught me,” Gabriel mumbled.

Sam tried to turn but was redirected by Gabriels’ hands.

“Quit movin’ Samsquatch or you’re gonna mess this masterpiece up.” He raised and eyebrow and bumped Sam in the back with his knee. “Would you believe me if I told you I was the one who caught the Vikings how to braid?”

“What?” Sam shook his head, eliciting a huff from the angel behind him. “No way.”

“Yep,” Gabriel twisted the pieces of hair together and pulled them tight, not missing how Sam reacted to the tug. “You gotta a kinky hair thing I don’t know about, Sammy?”

The backs of his ears turned red as Sam pressed his lips together.

“This feels…really nice, Gabe,” Sam whispered, leaning back so he was resting against the angels legs. “Can’t remember the last time someone did—did anything for me, really. Pathetic isn’t it?” He huffed and closed his eyes.

“Not pathetic. Sad, but not pathetic,” Gabriel assured him while slipping on a small rubber band to hold the intricate braid in place. “‘Sides, if anyone else touched you I might have to accidentally drop them in a volcano.”

Sam huffed and furrowed his brow. “And why’s that?”

“Because,” Gabriel leaned in, his nose brushing over the soft spot behind Sam’s ear, “the very thought of someone else touching you makes me want to smite them where they stand.”

Sam stopped breathing.

Without thinking, he reached up and pulled Gabriel in by the back of his neck. Craning his head, he turned around and kissed the angel. His tongue swept over Gabriels lower lip, causing him to groan.

Gabriel grabbed a fistful of Sams a hair and pulled. Sam took the hint and got to his knees, spinning around to face the angel. He smiled against Sams lips and pulled away.

“Kinda like you on your knees in front of me. Gives a guy all sorts of naughty ideas.” He wagged his eyebrows and pulled harder this time, jerking Sam’s head back. Leaning in, he licked a stripe up Sams throat, loving the way it made him moan.

“Fuck—Gabe,” Sam panted.

The angel bit down on the tender spot between Sams neck and shoulder and that was all it took. Sam shot up, hovering over the angel. His eyes dark, slick lips parted and panting.

“Ideas, huh,” Sam breathed out, his hand lowering to his jeans. “I got a few of those, too.” He cupped himself through the fabric, outlining his cock.

“Merry Christmas to me,” Gabriel whistled. He looked up through his lashes at Sam as he reached forward, snapping the button on his jeans. “You sure ab–”

“Yes.” Sam gripped a handful of Gabriels’ hair. “Get me in your mouth before I do it for you. I won’t be gentle.”

Gabriel smirked, unzipping the mans jeans. “I sure as hell hope not.” He shoved Sams jeans and boxers down around his thighs. He raked his fingernails upwards, sliding around to grab Sam by his ass and pull him in closer.

Sam gripped his hard cock, lifting it so the tip grazed across the angels lips.

“Suck.”

Gabriel wet his lips and leaned forward, licking a broad stripe up his shaft. He opened his mouth wider and took Sam in, sucking him halfway down. Sam groaned loudly, pushing his hips forward. Gabriel sucked him down until his nose was pressed fully against Sams curly hair. He pulled back slightly, looking up at Sam and winked.

Sams eyes widened and he nodded. He gripped the back of the angels head hard and shoved it forward, watching his cock disappear in Gabriels’ throat. He fucked his mouth hard, panting and groaning.

“F–fuck, Gabriel. You take my cock so good,” he whispered. “Gonna—fuck, Gabe, I’m gonna come.” 

Gabriels’ mouth fell open, spit dripping off his lower lip. He let his tongue slide beneath Sams’ cock, letting it slide over the mans balls.

“Shit–ffuck,” Sam shouted. He came with a grunt, pouring himself down the angels throat.

Gabriel swallowed and licked his lips clean. He looked up at Sam who was wide eyed and smiling.

“That—I didn’t mean to–”

He was cut off by Gabriel swiftly standing and taking him by the collar of his shirt. He yanked him down and kissed him sloppily, tasting himself on Gabriels’ tongue.

He pulled away and a dark smile washed over his face.

“My turn,” was all he said before shoving Sam down onto the bed. He stripped himself of his close while watching Sam remove his own. He crawled over the bed and straddled Sams’ hips, sinking low to kiss him again.

He lifted his hand up to Sams’ mouth pulled at his lower lip. Sam raised an eyebrow and opened slightly. The angels fingers swept over his tongue before he wrapped his lips around them and sucked hard.

“Jesus fuck, Sammy,” Gabriel whispered. He pulled his fingers out and moved them between his legs, teasing at Sam’s opening.

“Fuck—oh, fuck, Gabe,” Sam whined.

“That’s the plan,” Gabriel smirked. He pressed harder, sliding past the ring of muscle, watching Sams face contort with pleasure. He scissored his fingers, pushed and pulled them, then curved them til they hit just the right spot.

“Fuck,” Sam yelled, “shit, oh fuck Gabe.”

He removed his fingers and stroked his cock, sliding it against Sams hole. He pushed in slowly, inch by inch, feeling the Sams tight heat surround him.

“Jesus–fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he gasped, leaning down and kissing Sam.

Sam gripped the angels arms and dug his nails in. “C’mon, angel, show me what you got,” he grunted.

Gabriel sucked Sams lower lip in and bit down as he slammed into him. Trailed nips and bites down his neck as he reached up and pulled hard at the base of his neck. He fucked into him deeper with each thrust, pulling Sams hair in time with them.

“Gonna come again, baby boy?” The angel tilted Sams head up, making him look the angel in the eyes. “Gonna come all over my big, thick cock?”

“Ye—yes,” Sam moaned before spilling between them, come shooting up and hitting Gabriels chest.

“Fuck,” Gabriel hissed, pumping harder into the man below him until he felt white hot heat building up inside. He thrust hard once more before coming deep in Sams hole.

They lay there panting for a moment before either one spoke.

“Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“I need to braid your hair more often.”


End file.
